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Influencers Invited Sales Blog

Why do people buy from you? 

Customer handing your a credit card

When people seek a solution to a challenge or want to make a change in their life, they are either seeking to avoid pain or gain pleasure. With this in mind, it is essential to understand whether the product, process, or service you offer helps your prospect avoid a business problem or moves them closer to their goals. Once you understand what your proposed solution is solving for, you can tailor your presentation to focus on those benefits. 


People buy for emotional reasons and justify those purchases with logic. When you meet with prospects and they are encountering challenges in their career, they are experiencing some type of emotional response. Their challenge is either causing them some type of emotional pain or loss because they cannot achieve the pleasure they seek. 


Many salespeople jump right into the logical reasons a prospect should buy their product or service and never touch on the emotional reasons. Have you ever had a sales meeting and your solution was logically the best choice for your prospect, yet they didn’t buy? That happens because you didn’t engage them emotionally during the sale. You didn’t find out the emotional reason they were seeking a solution. 


Many prospects are seeking to avoid pain; they don’t want to lose their job, they don’t want to let down their team, they don’t want to be embarrassed, etc. Some are seeking long-term solutions, while others are looking for temporary relief and will find their way back to their old patterns due to their environment, lack of support, or simply the strength of their habitual behaviors. 


Dr. Benah Parker, Vice President of Research and Development for NASP, wrote Transforming how the world thinks and behaves with the Human Success Operating System™*, a white paper that highlights the struggles and pain points that lead people to seek support. These can be categorized into a handful of challenges that, when recognized and understood, can help you to connect with your prospects on an emotional level and increase your chances of closing the sale. Some of these challenges are included here along with how you can align with your prospect and redirect them from the experience of the challenge to focus on the success of the solution you offer.

  1. Perfectionism

People who respond to stressful situations with a need to be perfect focus on everything that is not right and fail to see the opportunities or small wins worth celebrating. When a prospect is struggling to make a decision or is concerned with everything being perfect before they can move forward, you know they are struggling with the challenge of perfectionism. Acknowledging what they are going through can help them move past this limiting pattern and make a decision. 

  1. Learned Helplessness 

People who respond to an overwhelming situation with the belief that they have no control or ability to impact the situation feel helpless, depressed, and see no reason to make an effort to get out of their rut. They are looking for an alpha. Now is the time to respectfully take charge and show them how working with you will give them the control they need to solve their challenge. 

  1. Need for Control 

People who have a high need for control look for solutions and answers outside themselves and seek certainty when faced with insecurity or a lack of confidence. This is the time to assure them you have exactly what they need to solve their problem and can give them the tools to make sure everything goes exactly as planned every step of the way.  

  1. Boredom

People who feel like they lack a compelling future and who do not have a clear vision for what they want from themselves or for their life may be lethargic and generally bored by the options they have accepted for themselves; they may seek a significant emotional event to help them feel stimulated. Show them what they will lose if they don’t move forward and what they will gain when the issue is solved. Help them to vividly imagine their success if they move forward with your solution.  

  1. Fear of Loss 

When things are going well, even without a specific trigger, some people find themselves paralyzed by a fear of losing what they have, specifically with respect to relationships and opportunities, such as those around income, health, and safety. Acknowledge that although they may lose something in the process, the gain provided by your solution will far outweigh the possible loss. 

  1. Preemptive Rejection 

People who have experienced issues of rejection or failure in their past may find themselves rejecting others before they fail again; they look for everything that could potentially go wrong. They will challenge and test you to make sure you can deliver on what you promise. With confidence, answer every question they bring up and reassure them that you are the person to help them succeed. 

  1. Trauma 

Severe psychological distress can lead to emotional disturbances, such as anger, anxiety, or guilt, problems with sleep and physical pain, diminished self-worth, and turbulence in relationships. If a prospect has been through trauma, sometimes their response may not match the circumstances of your interaction. They may overreact to something you did, and it can be confusing or even frustrating. When this happens, take a step back, recognize this doesn’t have anything to do with you, and stay the course. Continue to build rapport, show the value of your solution, and follow up as needed. 

To request the whitepaper, email [email protected].

To learn more about how to more effectively identify the pain points and challenges faced by your prospects, and then align and communicate to address those challenges, visit

About the author

Brooke Dukes is currently supporting NASP as Chief Sales Officer leading strategy and business development. Prior to NASP, Brooke was a multi-million dollar producer and excelled at various executive-level positions in sales and business development, including two Fortune100 companies. She has worked with some of the largest and most successful companies including Lear, General Motors, and United Airlines, and across multiple industries, such as insurance, skincare and cosmetics, technology, and banking.

Brooke has her BS from Michigan State University. She is a mother of two successful children and an avid traveler. Exploring the world and helping people achieve their dreams is her passion. Brooke resides in Austin Tx.